Swipe Right is our advice column that tackles the tricky world of online dating.
We started seeing each other initially as friends — we have a lot of shared interests — and then one day he jumped on me and the relationship became increasingly physical. So far, so good — until we were both looking at something on his laptop, and a dating website came up as one of his most visited sites.
I asked him about this, and told him that while I had no wish to pry into his personal life, the question for me was whether he was looking to keep his options open for now, it being early days. A quick Google search on his user name revealed another three, all with very recent s. At that stage I was ready to end the relationship and leave him to it. It is true that lots of people set up online dating profiles without ever taking action or using them to meet someone.
This has been most acutely demonstrated over the last week by the data dump from the Ashley Madison platformwhich revealed that the site had millions of straight male subscribers, but very few women ed up.
In other words, many of the guys who claimed that they never used it to meet women were probably telling the truth: there were few women for them to meet. Anyone who has done online dating seriously will confirm that there always seems to be people lurking on the edges, folks who are up for a chat but not for a meeting.
Neither reflects well on him, or his self-esteem, or the way that he feels about your relationship. It is very kind of you to look for the best in this situation.
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Swipe right: online dating for the real world Life and style. The guy I'm seeing is still using dating sites. What should I do?
Swipe right: helping you navigate the traps of online dating. Photograph: Celine Loup.
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